Happy Mothering Sunday, mine with a tinge of sadness

Today it is Mothering Sunday in the UK yayyyyyy, I woke up to a gorgeous bunch of tulips from Katie and a card too! I am just soooooo lucky!

I opted not to go to Church today as the emphasis is on mums and I no longer have mine. My mum passed away when I was 14 from a severe asthma attack and its something I have never really got over. It is now over 20 years since she passed and no matter how hard I try, when we honour mums at Church those still here and those who have gone before I find myself unable to compose myself and feel her loss more. I know that I am a mum and my child should have the chance to like others honour her mum but I cannot bring myself to attend a service. I often during those services find myself with tears running down myself and unable to compose myself. Even now as I type i feel a tear sliding down my face. My mum was wonderful, full of fun and despite a very difficult marriage and a lot of aggression and violence, a woman who loved God. She taught me that even when things are hard and smiling is not what you want to do that you hold your head up and offer praise. She taught me that holding your head up when things are hard is the only thing to do.

So here is a photo of my mum, who I am honouring today. I was just little there, and wish that more photos of the two of us together were taken. I am from today making sure that there are as many pictures as possible of Katie and I together.

When I look at my mum I don't see a woman who was overweight, had bad skin, didn't wear enough make up, didn't have trendy clothes.... all the excuses I use for not being in a picture. I see a woman who loved deeply.

Hug your children, take photos and BE IN PHOTOS together. Trust me when I say.... it wont matter in 20 years time that you think its a sucky picture. xx